Thong Diary: The Sure Thing

While watching the Lakers play on a cold Friday night in January, I started to compare whether these champions  could hold a candle the Showtime Lakers of the mid 1980’s. This was what the night that held for me, basketball, pretzels and beer….or so I thought.

Comparing Kobe Bryant to Magic Johnson and Pau Gasol to Kareem Abdul Jabbar seemed to be a wash. But as I started to delve deeper into each of the rosters, the game was rudely interrupted by a vision of lace. To be specific, my wife sauntered by wearing a hot pink Hanky Panky thong topped by a tight white sleeveless shirt. Her toenails were painted a deep crimson, a remnant of a beach vacation just a week before. And when she teasingly glanced back at me, her pouty lips quickly morphed and were now pursed in disdain at the din created by the game on the television.

I was torn….did today’s Lakers have anyone who could guard James Worthy? Was Kobe’s will to win a match for Magic’s? And was there a chance that the teasing glance could return if I turned the game off? I quickly perused my options. It was a sure thing that I would enjoy the game, maybe doze a little bit and then wander upstairs for another uneventful night of sleep. Not very exciting, but safe and predictable.  Or I could shut off the sure thing, leave my cushioned perch and venture into the world of exotic colors, scents and unpredictability.

Just as the crowd erupted as Kobe Bryant launched and made a long three point shot to end the half, my wife walked by again, this time showcasing the the thong in its entirety. However, this wasn’t like the other Hanky Panky thongs that have enhanced our marriage throughout the years. This was better. This was crotchless.

As the teams ran off into the locker rooms for halftime, the excitement of Kobe’s shot faded quickly as I was now looking at what I found later was called a Signature Lace Crotchless Cheeky Hipster in the oddly named color of Tuberose. This visage changed my perception of that night’s “Sure Thing” and made a cold winter night much warmer.

And as for the Lakers. I still managed to make it back downstairs for the end of the fourth quarter and the debate about which team was superior became as clear as could be…neither team  could hold a candle to the Larry Bird led 1986 Celtics.


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About Hanky Panky

In 1977, designer Gale Epstein created a hand-made lingerie set for her friend, Lida Orzeck, crafted out of embroidered handkerchiefs. The original designs were the inspiration for the company name, Hanky Panky. Blending traditional with modern glam looks, Hanky Panky is a fashion favorite of countless celebrities.
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